Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Thanks for the Laughs and Style, Joan


“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
Joan Rivers
I have been a Joan Rivers fan since I was a kid and used to watch her on the Johnny Carson show.  I thought she was beautiful and so terribly chic with her long nails and wonderful wardrobe.  I was watching old clips over the weekend and she was definitely fashionable with her little clutch bags she carried when she walked out to talk to Johnny.   But mostly I liked her humor and wit.  I watched the Fashion Police every week and I would be in awe at how quick that wit remained at 81 years old.  She was always spot on and said what everyone else is really thinking and it was nothing short of brilliant.
Before that I really liked Phyllis Diller who was also bawdy and self-deprecating as was Carol Burnett. You can also add Cher to this mix as well.  All of the female comedians I like would never have been possible without Joan’s hard and often unrewarding work over the years of her career.  I am a huge fan of the work of Roseanne, Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler, Sarah Silverman and Wanda Sykes.   
I grew up in a very stable conservative home being raised by my paternal Grandparents.  Both of them were extremely intelligent, articulate and genteel and my Grandmother was very ladylike and gracious but every now and then she would say something very bawdy almost under her breath and it would be hilarious.  I was not genteel, quiet or ladylike so I know my humor had to come from somewhere else.  
I realized watching tributes to Joan over the weekend that she was a huge influence in my sense of humor along with some real life people I knew.  The main influence was my best friend’s Mother growing up.  She was gorgeous vivacious outspoken and ball busting funny and I absolutely adored her.  
The second female influence was a boss I had in my 20’s who wasn’t as much funny as she had a wit and a tongue that should been registered as a weapon but she was blonde and flashy with her big hair, nails, clothes and Louis Vuitton.  In fact, she gave me my first pieces of Louie that I still have 30 years later.  I both adored and hated her but learned more from her about the business world than anyone. 
Joan once said "Humor doesn't come out of the good times, it comes out of the anger, pain and sorrow. Always the anger.”  As much as I would like to say my humor comes from rainbows and unicorns, the fact is that part of it was born out of emotional pain and a childhood I didn’t quite understand due to abandonment by my birth parents and never felt like I fit in anywhere. But I don’t sit around and cry about it, I never have and actually worked more on stuffing it deep down inside than anything else.  But logically, I know that the science behind abandonment and it is inescapable.  
Joan was also inspiring to me with her ability to come back stronger after each trial that tried to take her down. She was a very astute business woman and since work is one of the few things I feel confident in saying I do well, I identified with her drive to be a success.  Like her, people telling me I can’t do things only strengthened my resolve to be prove them wrong.   
I was in junior high the first time I said something that made someone laugh and it was like a drug to me.  It came very easy for me and the snarkier and more irreverent it was, the harder the laughs.  It was at the time I discovered I also had the gift of gab even though I am sure all of my teachers didn’t think it was such a gift as I was fidgety and talkative in class.  And I questioned all things authoritative to excess probably.  
I still enjoy making people laugh but as I got older I learned to temper my remarks in order to move around in Corporate America.  And that gift of gab has served me very well in my professional career both in and out of sales.  But I am no less bawdy and am probably more so as I have experienced more life and now in my mid-50’s, I am less apologetic than ever about the things I say.  
I used to say I had a secret dream to be a standup comedian but after watching Joan, I do not possess any of the talent or wit that is required to do this so I will just have to settle for making individual people or small groups of people laugh.  And that is just fine with me… 
Joan, I will miss your wit, humor, compassion and fabulous sense of style.   

            

      

 

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